Cotton Wool Suits for Ramblers!

They’re at it again! The UK Health & Safety Executive have scored another point taking them right to the top of The Bonkerdom League!

The scenery around Lock Ryan in Scotland is, I’m told, nothing short of stunning. To open up the area to the public the local Rotary Club spent £30,000 building a coastal footpath. All was fine and dandy with ramblers already taking an interest in the new walk but then… you guessed it; the pen-pushing jobs worths descended!

This was the Dumfries & Galloway Council who (with perhaps nothing much else to do on a wet Friday morning) decided that walkers may slip on the path and possibly graze their knees or worse. They were also made aware that the path goes through a field and – heavens above – sometimes this field may host… wait for it… COWS!

Not satisfied that they were perhaps not addressing all likely hazards someone noticed that the path at times gets close to water (bit of a giveaway here as it’s a coastal path) so they decided there would have to be a lifeguard present at all times!

All this for just 11 miles of pathway!

But there’s more; organised rambling groups will be allowed provided they employ the services of a ‘Trained Outdoor Specialist’ whatever that is. I imagine that someone has to continually point out the hazards as the group walks. “Careful, there’s a clod of earth here, make sure you don’t trip now, would you like me to hold your hand?” or “Watch out, there’s water here. Have you all packed your water wings?”

I’m certain that they’ll soon be working on prominent signs to be placed every 10 feet with the words WARNING. SEA WATER. IT CAN BE DEEP! or COWS ARE HIGHLY DANGEROUS ANIMALS and WATCH OUT FOR BIRDS!

Why stop there? What about handrails on every countryside footpath in the UK? Lifeboats at the ready whenever a patch gets close to water and why not have Cotton Wool Suits available for all ramblers. In fact why not make them compulsory along with hard hats and bright yellow plastic jackets!

Where will it all end? How can we stop this complete and utter Bonkerdom!