Cotton Wool Suits for Ramblers!

They’re at it again! The UK Health & Safety Executive have scored another point taking them right to the top of The Bonkerdom League!

The scenery around Lock Ryan in Scotland is, I’m told, nothing short of stunning. To open up the area to the public the local Rotary Club spent £30,000 building a coastal footpath. All was fine and dandy with ramblers already taking an interest in the new walk but then… you guessed it; the pen-pushing jobs worths descended!

This was the Dumfries & Galloway Council who (with perhaps nothing much else to do on a wet Friday morning) decided that walkers may slip on the path and possibly graze their knees or worse. They were also made aware that the path goes through a field and – heavens above – sometimes this field may host… wait for it… COWS!

Not satisfied that they were perhaps not addressing all likely hazards someone noticed that the path at times gets close to water (bit of a giveaway here as it’s a coastal path) so they decided there would have to be a lifeguard present at all times!

All this for just 11 miles of pathway!

But there’s more; organised rambling groups will be allowed provided they employ the services of a ‘Trained Outdoor Specialist’ whatever that is. I imagine that someone has to continually point out the hazards as the group walks. “Careful, there’s a clod of earth here, make sure you don’t trip now, would you like me to hold your hand?” or “Watch out, there’s water here. Have you all packed your water wings?”

I’m certain that they’ll soon be working on prominent signs to be placed every 10 feet with the words WARNING. SEA WATER. IT CAN BE DEEP! or COWS ARE HIGHLY DANGEROUS ANIMALS and WATCH OUT FOR BIRDS!

Why stop there? What about handrails on every countryside footpath in the UK? Lifeboats at the ready whenever a patch gets close to water and why not have Cotton Wool Suits available for all ramblers. In fact why not make them compulsory along with hard hats and bright yellow plastic jackets!

Where will it all end? How can we stop this complete and utter Bonkerdom!

World Walking The Plank Championships

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Pirates Almost Scuppered by Elf 'n' Safety


 

 (image from http://www.captaincutlass.com)

For 12 years the World Walking The Plank Championships have been held on the Isle of Sheppey, Kent, UK but thanks to an over-zealous council official the 2009 event was almost land-lubbered!

Every year since 1997 would-be-pirates have dressed in their best shiver-me-timbers outfits to walk the plank into the river. Onlookers vote for the best dressed, best pirate voice, and best plank walk. Donations collected go to the Royal National Lifeboat Institute.

This year, however, Swale Council, Kent approached the organisers to tell them they would have to obtain a water quality certificate to comply with health and safety regulations. How silly can these people get? For 12 years this event has taken place without death, injury or even sickness.

Anyway, it seems a scientist had to be called in to take a water sample to the council's laboratory to prove it was safe.

After which, fortunately, the event was allowed to go ahead as planned. But how many of these wonderfully idiosyncratic and quintessentially English events may fall foul of Health & Safety bureaucracy? How long before we're all wrapped in cotton wool and not allowed to leave our house without a 'Safety Escort'?

Crazy crazy bonkerdoms!

Have you come across similar events cancelled or threatened by officialdom? Let us all know by writing a comment below...
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Big blunder but surely its not too late?

A blunder happening on a large scale can often cost thousands to put right but when there's plenty of time to correct the error you wonder why someone doesn't grab the bull by its proverbial horns thereby saving us poor tax payers an even heavier burden.

A brilliant Bonkerdom came from the District Council governing the area where I own a bungalow. Council tax is paid by my tenant and I receive an annual bill from the council informing me I owe nothing. That's fine - it's good to know they're on the ball and not attempting to charge both myself and my tenant.

But here's the Bonkerdom:
A printed note attached to the bill tells me that 'an incorrect Bill has already been printed and is awaiting dispatch... you may ignore the bill which may reach you in the next week or 2'.

Now am I missing something here? Assuming this is not just my bill and effects many if not all other council tax payers in the area; the printing cost has already been incurred but if all these documents are somewhere in the system can't someone stop them from going out thereby saving us all a small fortune in labour and postage costs, not to mention the confusion and panic-stricken phone calls that will ultimately ensue when the second bill arrives on our doormats?

OK - given that it's probably not as simple as wandering down a flight of steps in the bosom of the council offices and pressing the big red button on the machine that's about to post the bills out you'd think that someone, somewhere would have the initiative to pick up the phone and call the sub-contractors to tell them to stop!

Why not? Is that too simple?

Does a meeting have to be convened in order to discuss the ramifications of such action? Maybe it does and they can't get everyone together for 3 weeks!

I don't know - I just don't know. There has to be a simple reason why thousands of our Great British Pounds can't be stopped from falling into that huge Council abyss!

Sitting where I'm sitting and being blessed with just a small amount of common sense I'm afraid I can't see it!

It's bonkers and yes;- it has to go down as a classic Bonkerdom!